Local Excitement.
I feel like J@ne Aust3n today and not only because I am living (for the moment) a dull life in the middle of the countryside BUT ... because there is finally a new tenant at the Manor. This large house, although about half a mile away, is actually one of our nearest neighbours. When we first came here there was hardly any property on the market and we were thrilled to find this one, which had been registered as a farm and so ignored by rich Londoners swooping past in vast 4x4s. Only a few months later though, maddeningly, the Manor suddenly came up for sale at the same price.

When we went to torture ourselves by looking over it, however, the reason for the low price was horribly obvious. Not only had the vast 18thC. stable block been totally burnt out but the entire building was rotten and the garden had been neglected for so long that mature trees were growing all over the walled vegetable garden. Of course I still wanted it. But it did have the creepy drawback of being situated on the side of a steep hill not that far from the road. So anyone with binoculars (and EVERYONE in this part of the country has 'sheep-checking' binoculars) could see into most of the windows from miles away and your little bedroom light would be obvious to the entire district.

The house has fifteen bedrooms and we all waited 'with bated breath' for a huge, cheerful Victorian - or preferably Edwardian - family to buy it and fill the valley with the sound of childish laughter. Sadly, this was not to be. The house was bought on-line, sight unseen, by a gay, single, merchant banker who was based in Hong Kong and had massive bonuses to burn. Luckily as it turned out. 'Whoa! You ever seen that film 'The M0ney P1t'...?', said the local Mr. Fixit. Who had taken over as 'site manager' for the absentee purchaser. 'It's going to have nothing on this'. The pit was made even deeper by the fact that the owner was obviously bored out in Hong Kong and sprang over-the-toply into his new hobby - interior decoration. Rare silks, hand-bl0cked w@llpapers, heavy hand-made curtains, ('Costing more than a THOUSAND pounds a window!!' revealed Mr. Fixit in awe), poured into the building. The stables were immaculately restored and the gardens chain-sawed into terrifying neatness - rather rashly, as we now had an even better view from the road. Inevitably, after spending only two holidays there,( both at Christmas), he ran out of money. And probably realised that Hong Kong is a more congenial place for a lonely gay than a vast empty house on a vast empty moor.

The problem now was that in order to get some return on the costs of taffeta-lined bathrooms etc. the house had to be placed back on the market at a scarily inflated price. For the past year and a half it has skulked on its hillside with unconvincing patterns of lights flicking around on a time switch. It has been burgled amateurishly twice. 'Just local boys, not to worry', said the (local) policeman. Who on earth had that kind of money and that kind of taste....?

Da daaa! A television personality - of course! Yes! How cool is that? We are going to have our own neighbourhood TV star. I'm not sure if she is famous outside England but she is very famous here - even my husband had heard of her. Everyone is going around smiling and stopping to chat out of car windows and slowing down to stare intently at 'her' house as they pass along the road. The little public path that crosses our land may turn out to be a blessing after all. Next time I hear voices and stare rattily out of my window there could be a merry band of sit-com actors passing through the trees. How fun is that..?
- posted by Iris @ 5/05/2004 09:52:00 AM comment