Horror
Why oh why have Blogger done this? Who could possibly think that this new layout is better? I was only away for a few days and came back to this horror. I HATE IT.

I haven't been writing because the house was full of people who irritated each other and me and were always using the computer or fiddling with it. Or using up my time by making me cook endless meals or tidy everywhere so that chaos and more irritation didn't set in... And I never write about the things in my mind because they are all dreary and when you sit down suddenly you feel ashamed of your feebleness and write a jolly post instead. And your 'readers' would obviously prefer some witty triviality rather than day after day of pathetic stuff about how 'awful' everything is and how your husband has turned into a selfish pratt and makes your life totally miserable.

And because of this I no longer feel that his relations are my responsibility in any way BUT ..... his father is about to be 100 YEARS OLD. (I told you my husband was an incredibly late 'miracle baby'). And there is going to be some horrific family gathering of every possible person with his father wheeled in senilely. As I have obviously been expecting his father to die for years and he has practically no memory so is very (understatement) difficult to hold a conversation with - I stopped the children visiting him as it would only upset them and he didn't know who they were. (I am not heartless in the least - it was a well thought out decision). So that they then wouldn't be THAT upset when he did finally die. But NOW all that is f@cked because of this agonising 'party' where all their old memories will be revived and when he dies at any minute they WILL be upset after all.

This is another example of how Life ensures that I NEVER win. F@ck it...
- posted by Iris @ 5/12/2004 10:26:00 AM comment