Drinking.
If this turns out to be true then I want to hit myself over the head repeatedly. Over the last few weeks my husband has become more and more 'normal', with no strange mood swings, manic shouting, rudeness or irrational selfish behaviour. This has coincided with him visiting an @cupunctur1st for back pain and her telling him that he is in very bad physical shape because HE DRINKS TOO MUCH. She managed to really frighten him and he immediately went onto the yaH di3t and cut down his habitual daily drinking to a whisper.

I was talking to my daughter on the phone saying, 'What's up with D@ddy? He just spent the weekend here and was totally nice the whole time - like another person. He even asked if I minded him playing blasting opera at breakfast and when I rolled my eyes HE DIDN'T PUT IT ON!'. 'Hello', she said, 'he's NOT DRINKING'.

It just can't, can't be that simple ... He can't have ruined all these years of our lives with his erratic nastiness when just by NOT DRINKING he would have snapped back to the pleasant, kindly person I first met. I had no idea that that person was still in there. I obviously realised that drink played a part in his personality change but I imagined that there were lots of other outside factors and that the new horrid person was the real him coming out.

Also, if he can cut down his drinking so drastically from one day to the next then he isn't even a real alcoholic - it was just a habit. So he could have done this AT ANY TIME if I had realised and worked out how to trigger it.

I am hitting myself over the head as we speak. And then I am off to hit our doctor, who, when I spoke to him in desperation a couple of years ago. Saying please could you talk to my husband next time he comes in and tell him that he is drinking too much but without revealing that I have asked you. Replied, 'Too much? Oh I don't know, he has never seemed particularly drunk when I've met him in the evenings. Do you think you might be exaggerating a little?'. (They are old friends). And then when my daughter had an appointment a week later he said to her, casually breaking his oath of confidentiality I notice, 'So your mother was here worried about your father's drinking. I don't think he really drinks that much, do you?'. When she said, 'Well actually, he DOES drink a lot', he smiled patronisingly and said 'Let's just see how it goes, shall we?'. Or in our-world speak 'I don't want to do anything about this because it is embarrassing as I know him socially and anyway Iris is obviously being naive and hysterical - da, da, daaa and I don't care anyway ...'.
- posted by Iris @ 5/24/2004 09:55:00 AM comment