I haven't written much as seem to be in a state of suspended animation. This is partly the weather. By March ideas of Spring, warmth, planting things or even opening the windows are at the front of my brain but as this is not possible I have switched off from the present and rest in waiting mode.

Yesterday there was a BLIZZARD WARNING. For f@cks sake. We are all really bored with this. Winter is OVER. I begged a ride to the shops to stock up (mostly for animals as I keep neurotically stocked all the time in case the world comes to an end suddenly). I think the weather persons are just keeping themselves from being sued as they constantly now over-estimate the severity of cold fronts etc. Settled cosily in bed with electric blanket, coffee, toast, books, new magazines and cats arranged on and under covers in a non-aggression pact, I waited smugly for 'things' to get going. The forecast had had a tense- looking man posed in front of pictures of buried cars etc., saying that gale force winds were coming from the North with serious snow drifting and NO ONE should even think of driving no matter what. After hours had passed and cats had wandered off and I had read the magazines, a light wind sprang up and , all right, it DID snow for about an inch or two. Out of decency I forced myself out into the 'storm' and piled up bird supplies of old crusts, plate scrapings and ancient cheese from the fridge which I afterwards realised was low fat so not ideal in the circumstances. (Strangely, a huge blackbird instantly took over the food pile and beat off all comers meanly until they gave up at dusk. This morning most of the food is still there. I have never seen them do that before except to other blackbirds).

I woke up today to a particularly depressing sight. There is deepish snow everywhere but it is quite hard to tell as there is also a thick FOG! I can't remember that ever happening before. Crap.

I realised that one reason I don't write so much is that every time I have to make an effort to go to the computer specially. I can see that most people dash off odd thoughts while they are at the computer anyway, as well as their longer thought-out pieces. A large proportion only blog while they are at work. I constantly think of things I would like to say and write them in detail in my head. Then an hour or so later I have either totally forgotten the whole thing, as my brain has filed it away as done, or I can't be bothered to 're-write' it all over again. I have been trying to deal with my 'all or nothing' tendencies about everything. Either I do something intensively or not at all. This is totally stupid and makes me stressed and brooding. I will make a Spring Resolution. FIND SHADES OF GREY. ONE STEP AT A TIME. A PILE OF LITTLE THINGS MAKES ONE BIG THING, (or falls over and leaves little things messing up the floor - NO, no it doesn't). As soon as this idiotic snow f@cks off I will go out and dig up a small patch of garden and plant a small number of the bulbs that are hidden in the back of my wardrobe as I couldn't face dealing with them in the Autumn in pouring rain. AND - a ray of sunshine has just appeared behind the mist.


- posted by Iris @ 3/12/2004 11:08:00 AM comment